


Not Strong Enough

by desperately_seeking_words



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10x09, Coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 21:42:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2748101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desperately_seeking_words/pseuds/desperately_seeking_words
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been three days since Dean Winchester spilled human blood, and three days since Castiel has spoken much at all.  Claire Novak is so bored and confused by her current situation that she decides to write out her thoughts on the memo pad in her motel room, which leads her to consider why it is that her angel companion has been so silent. 10x09 coda.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Strong Enough

_Dear Motel Memo Pad,_

_Castiel has barely said a word in three days._

_Sure, I’m not usually in talking mood when it comes to the angel turned dad-wannabe, but seriously? It has been three days. I’m so bored that I’m resorting to this stupid writing thing. At least he’s still useful enough to supply us with food._

_It all started that horrible night at Randy’s house. I don’t really want to relive what I saw when we went in to check on that one guy, but as soon as the angel saw, he bolted. After what happened, I can’t say I’m upset that he dragged me along with him._

_He didn’t stop at the ‘67 Chevy, he kept walking at a ridiculously fast pace. Seriously, he would not slow down. Not to mention he was holding my arm in a vice grip as he steered me away from that awful scene. I wasn’t the one who had just killed a bunch of people, so why was he taking it out on my arm?_

_Honestly, though, if I think about it? I think he was scared._

_Castiel, angel of the Lord, was absolutely terrified._

_I’m not sure what he was scared of, though. It’s not like that Dean guy could even hurt him. He’s like Superman: bullets, knives, poison, nuclear missiles…nothing like that can kill him. Okay, I may have made an assumption about that last thing, but I’m probably not wrong._

_My point is, he couldn’t have been scared for his life (or mine for that matter, since he could have easily defended me), so what had he been afraid of?_

_I have a theory, Motel Memo Pad. The angel just went out for a walk, and I’m going to follow him. I’ll test my theory and report back as soon as possible. Claire Novak, over and out._

_P.S. God I’m so embarrassing sometimes. Note to self: either hide this away or destroy it before the nerd angel sees._

—

Claire stuffed the memo pad into her bag, despite the fact that it barely fit. She slipped off her bed and walked towards the door, swiping one of the keys off the nightstand in the process. Castiel couldn’t have gone far.

Once she was outside and had locked the door behind her, she realized just how right she was. A quick glance over the railing told her that Castiel was standing in the middle of the parking lot.

Curious, she found the staircase and hustled down it while trying to make as little sound as possible. Castiel had dropped down to his knees when she reached his car. Crouching down, she was in perfect position to hear what he said next, clear as day.

"Father," he pleaded, "I’m in trouble."

Claire frowned. 

"It’s Dean." There was a long pause. "Father, I’m afraid."

_Knew it_ , Claire thought to herself.

"I haven’t asked you for anything in a really long time, but I’ve been asking you, _begging_ you, Father, for _three_ days…”

Castiel’s voice cracked. Claire found it difficult to swallow against the lump that had formed in her throat.

"Help him. Save him. Please.” He lowered his head into his hands, causing the next words to come out muffled. ”I’m not strong enough.”

Claire didn’t want to watch this anymore. She got up to sneak away, hoping that he would be so carried away by his emotions that he wouldn’t notice.

"Claire."

_Damn it._

Claire turned around. Castiel hadn’t moved. He wasn’t even phased by her presence.

There was a long, awkward silence in which Castiel continued to hold his face in his hands and Claire continued to stare at him.

"Why aren’t you strong enough?"

Castiel didn’t answer.

"That’s what you said. ‘I’m not strong enough,’" she said in her best impression of the angel. "That’s bull."

Castiel raised his head from his hands and finally stood. When he turned to face her, she noticed how tired he looked. Angels weren’t supposed to look tired.

"Nothing can hurt you. Nothing can beat you. You’re scary powerful, and now you say that you’re not _strong_ enough? Not strong enough for what?"

Castiel met her eyes. ”To fulfill a promise.”

Without another word, he patted her gently on the shoulder and walked past her towards the stairs. It was clear that the conversation was over.

_Damn him and his stupid riddles._

One thing was clear, though: Castiel was running away. He was running away from Dean and a promise.

Claire still didn’t understand, but that suited her just fine. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

With a sigh, Claire climbed the stairs back up to their room. When she stepped back inside, Castiel was standing by his bed and staring at his cell phone. He had likely ignored yet another phone call from the other brother. He pursed his lips as he looked down at the device. He looked so guilty that it was almost physically painful.

"Hey," Claire greeted, pulling his attention from the phone. His face relaxed somewhat, which was a start. "Want to watch the History Channel and point out everything that they get wrong?"

The corners of Castiel’s mouth twitched upward. It was almost a smile. Claire took his response as a “yes.”

Without another word, Claire plopped herself down on the couch and turned on the TV. After surfing through the channels for a couple of minutes, she finally found the History Channel.

"Oh good, _Ancient Aliens_ , you’re going to love this.”

There was no sound in the room except for the TV show for a while, but eventually, Claire felt the couch cushion dip beside her and saw a tan trenchcoat out of the corner of her eye. She smiled.

"It’s highly improbable that those stones were arranged by extraterrestrials. Do humans actually believe these things?"

Claire shrugged.

"Clearly, taking from the Tree of Knowledge was not worth the price of admission."

Claire laughed, and she caught Castiel cracking a legitimate smile for the first time in three days.


End file.
